All of the stress and planning from the move made my time limited to spend with friends and family. I must say; thank God it was a CONUS move with no kids in tow. I applaud all of you milspouses who have relocated time and again with lots more baggage. There was a family party planned the weekend before we left so I got see all of my beloved extended Mexican family to dance the night away with them. The last evening that my hubby and I spent with our best friends, was a quiet one. We acted like we were going to see each other the following weekend for a fun dinner at one of our favorite spots when in reality that would not be the case.
As a daddy’s girl, leaving my dad and waving good-bye to him felt like I was also leaving a piece of my heart behind.
We would also be missing while they became parents for the first time. I was devastated with the thought of not being part of that moment with my bestie. As a daddy’s girl, leaving my Dad and waving good-bye to him felt like I was also leaving a piece of my heart behind. Yes, I can call my dad, but there is nothing like getting one of his bear hugs or being there to watch him cook up his yummy carne asada while getting amazing life advice and laughing uncontrollably. The memories flooded in, the tears began.
Ripping off the Band Aid
During my last three days in San Diego, my sister and I were attached at the hip. She was and is always my rock. On the day my husband and I were set to start our journey to the East Coast, I was overwhelmed with emotion. My brother was strong the day I left, but from the moment I told him that I was going to have to leave, we would each have cry fest sessions, proceed by hugging it out with a beer in hand!
My grandmother had come to see us off from my mother’s house. Her presence pulled on the heart strings as her and I are extremely close. When I was a little girl I would beg my mom to let me stay with her and my abuelito. When my mom would say no and I would run off to my room to cry, my abuelitos would continue to plead my case and within a few minutes my grandparents would come by my room and tell me to get my bag ready. They would save me from a night of tears! Saying goodbye to everyone was so very heart wrenching. Again, things are just not the same with a phone call. Smelling moms scent, being held in her arms, laughing with the sibs and my best friends, enjoying quality time with grandma and the rest of my friends and family are all irreplaceable moments, but it was time to rip off the band aid.When we drove off and I saw my mama waving goodbye from the front fence with my little nephew buddy in her arms…that’s all it took to take me into that type of sob that can only be replicated by the emotion a chamaco, kid, gets right after a good nalgada, spanking, from a parent. The one when you have stopped crying, but there is still a residual 5 minutes after the steady cry.
My brain knew things were not ending, but my heart was saddened by the many events I would miss while away from home. In the car, while my husband drove, he held my hand and squeezed it every now and then as a sign of support. Every few seconds, he would look over at my red, swollen crying face and say nothing. What could the poor guy say? He was the reason we were leaving and I know that he felt awful for taking me from everything that I ever knew. The reality of it is that we are a military family and we were destined to relocate. He obviously was not going to leave me there…although I sure thought about jumping out of the car…tuck and roll girl, tuck and roll!